Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone in your life supported your healthy living goals?
If your partner, kids, friends, family and colleagues all sat together in your cheering section? There to help with daily tasks while offering encouragement, too?
Fantasies are nice, indeed.
But sometimes reality lets us down. People in our lives aren’t always supportive, even if they want to be.
And while that’s unfortunate, it’s not an excuse to give up or to feel sorry for yourself or to resent them.
Here are some strategies for doing what YOU NEED TO DO FOR YOU, regardless of how others react to it.
- Remember your goals are YOURS, not anyone else’s. You’re the hero of your own story, but that doesn’t mean everyone else is in a supporting role. They have their own stuff on their minds, and they might not understand your motivation.
- Be clear about the support you need. Some people want to help but don’t know how. Others might respond to specific requests. In other words, instead of getting hurt when your partner doesn’t always do what you hope, state your need specifically: To pick up Timmy from soccer practice at 6 p.m. so you can work out with your trainer.
- In your actions and, if necessary, in words, remind people you love that relationships are two-way streets. So, give them support where they need it, too.
- Offer to include them in your new ventures. They’ll probably appreciate being asked – and realize that your new habits aren’t a threat to your relationships. For example, how would your work lunch-buddy feel about taking a walking lunch break a couple of times a week? Ask!
- Follow the principle of “attraction rather than promotion.” When people see how much happier you are with your new lifestyle, they’ll be more likely to acknowledge it than if you tell them they need to make the same changes.
- Find new people, like workout buddies or others at the gym in small group sessions. You’ll hold each other accountable because you’re going through the same experience and probably have similar goals and struggles.
- Keep a journal. Pray. Meditate.
Ultimately, it’s up to you, even when your emotional needs aren’t being met by people you care about.
You’re learning so much about yourself, even if you have all the support in the world – and more about yourself if you don’t.
Embrace your journey, my friend.
You got this.